Updates

Hey you all!!!

Well life has got in the way of my posting but that will be rectafied shortly...been working like mad and i have some new pictures of my work up very soon!!! love all my best friends that keep up with ma blog kisses babies!!! see you later.

Made to Remember

I was lessening to an old Michael Jackson song called 'Ben', I really didn't know how much one artist could affect another. but in many ways that song alone tugged at my heart, but it always had...it was a sweet song written by a little boy about his only friend, it is simple and heartfelt some of the most beautiful things are that simple. In my life right now the song takes a different light now that the maker of this sung poetry is gone, really Michael Jackson was a artist. He was corky and a little strange at times but many great artists are that way, some are called bitter and hard to know like Beethoven, Obsessive and pompous like Degas, Or careless and immature like Mozart. Some of the greatest artists go through there lives being misunderstood and with out any since of peace in the world they have been born in other then the art they create. its almost like living in a world of circles and you are clearly a triangle, its sad that the world that shunned Michael and ultimately made him a outcast, the world that showed him no mercy and called him a freak, made fun of him and joked about his faults, didn’t find out how much they loved him till he died.

the same people that persecuted him, honor him, its enough to make one that held a love for him in there hearts no matter what happened, sick...but that’s not the point now...I morn his lose, and for someone that made such great music as he did, there will never be another like him no matter the comparison’s that will be made. In many ways I think that the song 'Ben' now feels different, that it is sung by the people that really truly cared for Michael about Michael. this thought came to me after seeing a true fan of Michael Jackson sing the song 'Ben' on You Tube and it touched my heart just as it did when Michael sang it when he was with the Jackson Five. the singer was David Choi, it is utterly beautiful and simple just as it was intended to be and i loved it so much I had to write this Blog.

Please subscribe to David's You Tube channel, I'm not promoting his channel because he told me to...its because I truly believe he's talented and its moments like these that truly make you believe in another one, seeing this post of his made me remember why I loved Michael Jackson. Why I grew up lessening to him, honestly I'm sure David has no idea i wrote this, or will ever know, it was this post that made the subscription worth it in many ways. His heartfelt tribute to another artist now gone brought me to tears and I want to thank David for reminding me about cherished memories with just a few strokes of his guitar!

All things taken for granted

Hi people....feeling a little down tonight and i cant figure out why, they say that everyone looses something. a car, a home, a key, a family member....i have lost all those things in the past few years, i never thought my grandfather the only only one i ever had. i loved him so much, he was the rock of our family and i always thought he'd be there, i took for granted that he would always be there. that he would be there when i got married and preside over the wedding that he would see maybe my first born, all things taken for granted. he passed away a few years ago...actually the exact date escapes me because i bottled it up and swallowed the pain and pretend it never happened. that's what i do...its not healthy but its the only way i know how to live with out that hole, even though that hole is there. my losses didn't stop there a year ago my uncle passed, it was sudden like a blink of an eye. he was happy and i said hi the next moment he was gone, he was a dancer a ballet dancer, my favorite dancer, i never wanted to know what my life would be like with out him and now i have to figure it out.

I've lost shoe's, papers, drawings, and love but nothing can amount to the lost of a person...nothing....all things taken for granted...things i was so naive in thinking that i would never have to imagine my life with out them its ironic how you go through life always believing they would be there and just the opposite happens. it has made me different more mindful of the limited time we have as silly as that sounds, it has made me more aware of the people around me and how they to might be gone....it makes me realize how important my family is and how paper thin that line between lose loved ones can be. I push it away and try to forget with out loosing the core memories of them, the good times, but how can i think about those memories with out feeling the sting of knowing they aren't here. its like a fresh cut that wont heal, they say it gets better with time but ultimately it doesn't...no i think you get numb, that you learn to be accustomed to it like a friendly neighbor in you heart where they used to be.

All things taken for granted, the fact that i feel i might lose again...the head of my family a woman I looked up to. the head mother in my house, one person I grew up with always nurturing and warm, she kept he and loved me like she loved her daughter my mom. she's live this remarkable life 90 years to be exact and I keep feeling like I might loose her to, now unlike before I am trying to imagine my life with out her and I just cant. I just cant bring myself to do it not because it cant be done, but because I selfishly don't ever want to. she is a force in my life I just cant let go of and one day life will force me to. I'm afraid so very afraid to lose so soon, to loose again I just cant. I keep shaking my head 'no' and nature has other plans, I close my eyes and yet I can still see life's plan plane as day.

I've lost drawings, I've lost stories told to me when I was a child, I've lost respect for my father and lost friends but nothing can compare to the feeling that your going to lose someone that important to you. That you'll never see them again and even though people say they are still with you and in some ways they are, it doesn't ease the pain...the hole is still there and there is only superficial comfort, there is only acceptance with time...that maybe the you'll get used to the pain and it wont be as constant, it will hurt but you'll be strong enough by then that it wont affect you.

I wish it was more like a open wound on my arm...that it would scab over and eventually stop hurting and be a distant memory, but grief isn't like that... its constant, a everyday struggle to see through all the things that hurt your heart, but I swallow these feelings as unhealthy as that is and I push them way down in the pit of my stomach and don't look there, I never look there. I have lost words, and books, maps and jewelry, but I have also lost so much more and my heart can take anymore not now and not yet. theirs only so much one heart can take, being strong isn't a luxury any longer and I am afraid so afraid, because nothing can prepare you for the lose of life.

Musical Lines Gone

Well i just got the news that the smooth criminal, the guy that created the moon walk, the best selling pop star of the 80's, the lead singer in what was arguably the first boy band has passed away. yes Michael Jackson Has passed away kinda trump's the Farra Charlies Angel chick news, but its sad they both died and the world has lost a real treasure. that's really all i have to say about it...i'm sad a big musical peace of my life is owed to MJ and now he's gone!!!

Quickie!

I was watching my you tube channels that i frequent and i herd something about this dude Asher Roth that made some rap about college...its called 'i love college' and i was like o really i have to see this. and i was like this is truly silly, that is not to say the song is catchy but my lord its just...well i have to agree with a girl on a channel i subscribe to called 'Miss Hannah Minx' and i have to say its border line sad really, its about spoiled kids partying till they get sick screwing the next person and just being an all and out dushebag!! i mean i'm a college student and love a good party but its that imigary that just makes me weep for my genoration...i mean really is celabrating the decline of a sirtin class really that entertaining and whats worse this guy is celebrated for it. i'm mordified and fasinated all at the same time i must ITunes this right away lol!!! any way wheres a link to Hannah you tube post and his video judge for yourself!!

Hannahs post:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzKL_Yas_eo

I love College song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRVFfgoIKcg

Work and Death

Some wonderful new developments in me life, i just had a really good mini shoot with a local female D.J. to test the equipment and all that went all day but i got some really great stuff. it was a 14 hour shoot that was rather long for my taste but we had a lot of changes and the people i work for wanted verity so i had to supple. It was really fun my girl got to play the ultimate game of dress up and pose and i got some work done. there is toll a lot to do i have to go through the pictures and i was just asked to re shoot her close ups so next week its back to work but i don't mind it at all.

In other news how about the death of David Carradine...he was found in the closet of his hotel in Bangkok in a closet naked with rope tied around his happy place. his family want the FBI to investigate his death because they don't believe it is a suicide as the police in Bangkok believe, but nothing as of yet has been done. the first thing i said when i read this was...what the hell was David Carradine aka Kong Foo man doing being tied up by a Lady boy no less for some obvious S&M play at his age. they speculate that he might have had a hart attack or something but really i keep thinking why do all these people keep offing themselves in the most idiotic of ways...and okay i'm sure he didn't mean to off himself and maybe i'm being insensitive but do people think, maybe i shouldn't do this because there are too many things that this could go wrong....any way he is dead and its a shame really Carradine was the man and i was a fan...sadly he decided to die in the most embarrassing way possible and even worse might have been spending his time with a Lady boy but so is the way of the world...lest have a moment of silence for Carradine..............................................okay kiddies i hope you are well and i'll catch you on the flip side.

Link to the story discussed:
http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=413114&gt1=28130

Bye Bye Penis!!!

OMG!! Okay i just heard the funniest thing ever and i just had to come and Blog about it okay you ready kiddies? some guy got his dick blown off by a firecracker....a FIRECRACKER....okay i don't think you get it...guys dick...some string or mostlikely tap and a FIRECRACKER!!! okay now that you understand the base line of the halarity here is the full skimmy. okay so this chick that was living with this guy for like two years starts to talk about marrage, and of corse the guy was all no thankyou i'd rather move back in with my exwife right. so when he startes to move his stuff out the disgruntaled chick says "hey lets have a dinner for old times sake" a trap yes but did he see it...hell no the dumb ass eats and drinks himself silly...so silly he passes out drunk to which she takes this opertunity to stertegicly tapes or ties what fassining aperatise she used is up for debate to his unsispecting dick and pop goes the penis. yep she blow him good....lol yes pun intended my god dick blowing jokes are never going to get old. and the laughing insued as soon as i read this off the net and if you dont believe me here is the link.

http://www.mosnews.com/weird/2009/05/25/1909/

Okay so there isnt much i can say to top that....i mean really the guys dick got 86'ed by a firecracker and that puts a whole new meaning to why they banned them here in the Vally lol!!!Well it makes me so happy knowing that some people having more drama then my sister so now the nest time she starts getting crabby i get to say "Hey there are guys getting there dicks blown off by firecrakers in Russa...yea so you think about that next tiem you start going on about how bad your life is" lol omg that is so funny. okay kiddies hope you are well and enjoy the rest of your week!

Left for Dead!!!

there was a ed hardy block party and i got invited by default and really i was happy to go. i rode with my sister and her friend Paul and two other friends of ours Veronica and her man Andy. okay so they said to dress to impress so i wore a killer dress with my very cute Betsy Johnson wedges that where the talk of the night mind you. now any woman will know there is such a thing as 10 minute heels and my Betsy heels where one of them, when we got at this party and found flip flops and jeans i was decidable pissed. but as the night went on it was fun but i have to sit because my feet where killing me and i wasn't about to ruin my shoes for anyone. but i meat some nice people while drinking way too many rumin cokes for someone who hasn't drank a real drink for for years.

as i drift sadly into my drunken stupor the people me and my sister went with left for whatever reason and i go back to find my sister. she is no where to be found so i take off my shoes and walked bare foot back to the parking structure and no one is there...right i was alone and very inebriated and i guess i started to cry any how that's what my boyfriend said because i called him and he picked me up really fast. other then the getting left in a different city i had a lot of fun but that's enough excitement for one night if you know what i mean lol. well that's all that happened in my other then bland life as i can see now lol, hope you are are well and have a peachy day!!!

Who Said School is Free?

Well as they say doing nothing feels soooooo gooooooooooooooood! yes laying around with out a care in the world is fucking fantastic!!!! well as i am enjoying my inner loaf i still have a job to do with the magazine every thing else is so peachy and slow moving because there is no school its blissfully awsome! but enough of my lazy days i have this delima to deal with, mom's going in the hospital to get gensued on her neck. but i also have to cover an even that afternoon and of corse i have to go we planed it before moms knife act. i must sound terrible that i have to work but mom said to go so i'll go and get back to her as soon as possible. other then that my life is really boreing and that is so sweet!

O but lissen to this i go to sell me books back at school and mind you i spent 200$ on the fucking things that i never really used and when i sell them back guess what i got.....dont worry i'll waite....yeah your not even close 30$ thirty mesley dollors and its not that i'm not greatful but shit thats terrible. and what gets me is they turn around and sell them for full price next semister and that just makes me want to scream. i feel like we should at the lest get half back what we spent the rich buricratic ass holes! i mean just bending us students over and taking the money right out of our asses...no wonder half the population dont go to college its too fucking expencive and unrealistic in the times we live in...god cant student get a break to? well thats all i had to say hope you are doing well and have a wonderful day kisses!!

Work Work Work!!!!!

No rest for the wicked i suppose, i have been busy yes sir the magazine had me running around like a chicken with its head cut off!! I have been attending events like a student fashion show to cover the event and take pictures and all that. on top of that i have to organize a photo shoot with the winner and all that. all and out it was a great show and i think people missed out...wasn't a really good turn out but it was an achievement any how. i must say the thing was really cool and it was nice of them to include us. it is great exposure for us and them and i am really excited to be shooting the designer's clothing on her models i would imagine it is a dream come true.

school i am happy to report is over with and i couldn't be more happier...god i thought if i had one more week i was going to kill some one or even better myself. ma brain needs a break and i couldn't be more obliged to so. well not a lot else to report truthfully i am just way tired but i will be back to give you more greatest hits of my crazy life soon...kisses babies and i hope you are all well and having a peachy life!

Flying Drunken Jerks!

Have you ever had one of those days where you just wanted to sleep forever? i am sooooooo having one of those days, finals are coming and i cant wait.....God please let it be over already. well life has had its up's and downs and I'm tired with my work!! thought I'd stay home with my painting and that didn't go as well as i thought it would!!! i saw an old friend of mine last night and we got to catching up, and i thought wow it is so weird knowing somone like him or even my adopted sister for as long as we have and still stay in touch. i mean i have known these people since i was a kid, and mind you he was a hyperactive little mean shit!!! i mean he was a real peace of work but then again now he's a laied back pot head lol man he is so funny!!! but yeah i just think its weird maybe i'm being weird lol!!

well the weather sucks here, one minite its hot and i'm sweaty and the next its cold and rainy very confusing and my sinises are going fucking crazy! and what is with these mutinte big ass afircan miscedos that fly around your house like there drunk or something? they are fucking huge and they freak me the fuck out, and they cant be satisfied with being as big as my fucking hand no they have to fly right into your face. yea like i want the mother of all mositos in my fucking face, and there is nothing i can do about them they are in my grand mothers bushes and trees.....i have never been so bitter about trees and folieage in my life. and when theres like a sworm of them camped out on my front portce all i can to is flayle my arms around like a sissy school girl and scream at them to back the fuck off as i try and open my door. i mean what can i do to get them to piss off? i'm not only deeply creeped out by them i'm highly ellergic to them and i'm so paranoyed i scan my room before going to bed to make sure those flying jerks arent in my room!

well i hope you chickadies are well enjoy the rest of your week and i'll try and not napom my house to get ride of my flying mince!

Most Inopportune Black Out!!

Besides the unaccommodating black out last night that cut my viewing of criminal minds short....(Errrr!) life is still peachy i suppose... last night was wild though and not wild in the since that i was happy the lights went out, but in the since that i was ready to kill PG&E the prick's! i know they are only doing there job as slow as snail snot but god! and whats with idotes slamming into the one pole that holds my futur tv viewing in its hands. sometings i feel like this shit only happens to me and it was a really good show too...that and Shamar More looked exceptionally hot in it!!! i just get the warm and fuzzies just thinking about that mans smooth yummy face lol! but enough anout my obssetion with Shamar...

been doing some painting for the fair this year and its looking to be some of my best work!!! i hope to get frist place this year again, last year i got two first place win's and then secend and third. i was really happy to see that i placed and i guess that i am my own worst cridic because my work was really well receved. i didnt know anyone would like what i do let along side give me first place it was a great surprise i usually dont enter art contests becuse i feel like i wont win. but i was proven pleasently wrong, i am totally glad that school is almost out thank god!!!! i thought ie would never be over and i am so glad it is....i thought my head was going to explode i need a break so i'll be out all summer! well i suppose thats all thats new with me this week, hope you are all well and have smashing weekends!

Things that Erk me!

Hi kiddies,

life is good here having some difficulties with my shoot that i am planning but that is to be expected really. I saw a movie that i would really like to check out, it's 'Obsessed'...who doesn't want to watch Beyonce get mid evil on Ali Larter? i mean who doesn't like a good old fashioned girl fight lol i know i love them and cant miss a chance to see a good one, i mean the commercial where she head butts her is the best thing ever!

Okay so i know Twilight is this teeny bopper nonsensical phanominone but to me as a lover of the vampire lore i find it....well...sickening! its a laughable adaptation of the lore and a gross misrepresentation! i mean i know and teenagers eat that shit up but really what are we teaching them? that vampires are sprklie and walk around in the day stairing at each other....god i have never been so bored and out raged all at the same time...they took all the blood, sex, and violence out of vampires something that made them great in the first place. they then turned it into this....weird sparlking love fest that makes real fans of vampires sick to our stomachs! i mean i was like is where the lore has fallin, so low as to be asocieated with teenage stairing contests and glitter? and to make matters worse there making another one of those abortions that they call movies where they are all going to be in pale face running around lookinging into eachothers eyes trying to be deep...the real struggle isnt in being a vampire noooo its weather she like me in these tight geans and slightly torn shirt as i hop from tree to tree....and since when does sun light make vampires shine like glitter? unless there bersting into flames i dont think that shit flys...i cant stand namby pamby little teenie bopper vampires that suck the fun out of the lore....i say the person that wrote this trash is going to hell for making the lore sink as foar as it has...not they have every empreshional tween and teenager dressing like vampires and acting like they know all about the gonrea and its enough for anyself respecting real vampire enthousatic person to take to the streets and burn every copy of twilight just in protest!....i am such a geek to have such a strong haterid for this movies and books but i do and anyone who likes the lore and knows abour it would gage at this atrosity....

*sighes* thats better...I just needed to vent...i feel better now!!! kisses Kiddies and i hope your lives are good and you have a merry day!

Life and favorite things enjoy!

Well life has been busy but i have made time to blog! So life is slow going and i really am annoyed with that but what can you do right? well i have been putting my ass in gear to get things done and organized with lazy people that get too relaxed when you leave them alone with something. but on a happier note i have a few of my favorite things to shire with you. there is this candy site that sales vintage candy and i am in love!!!

The site is www.candydirect.com

I had found old favorites and new ones check it out! okay my next favorite besides the Japanese store i shop at in town is:

www.asianfoodgrocer.com

Anything i need as fare as Japanese food products are here and i love the place, they always have what i need when i cant find it anywhere else. and then of cores amazon is a great place for anything lol! well that's about it kiddies catch you on the flip side!

Just another day in line

Hello Kiddies,

Life is hectic but i am managing to get through it with out pesky suicidal tendency and all that! i am bet and i still have class tonight Bio Bummer! but I'm almost done with the class so theirs a high note on that! I want to just kill people who just stand around in line at the golden arches and then look up like the menu has changed and go "Aaaaa yea....whats good here....O i dont know....how are your bergers are they good....i think i'll have aaaaa...." i'm like what the fuck yo, how do you not know whats good here....the fries are delish and the nuggets are so wonderful a woman called the police some where in bumb fuck know where becuse they didnt give her some nuggets. I was so pissed becuase all i wanted was a coffe and now i had to have some nuggets because i was having this inturnal rant about what was awsome and what they should get. so that was seven dollars i didnt have but i cant complaine because nuggets are slaptastic!

I havent been to a Tarjay latley and good thing to, i cant go there with out getting a bunch of stuff i didnt come there for it's maddening really how this place grips me by m ears and makes me buy shit i didnt know i wanted. its like hello cherry there are starving kids in africa and i'm like yea i know but isnt this Margerita maker smashing? then that little voice in my head that is supposed to be guilting me into not buying the Margerita maker is all 'shit yea bro that thing is awsome look it has a place to put your salt' and there gose seventy dollors that i didnt have, but to be fare i love margeritas and yes i'm like every tpical girl in that aspect but i can pound those all day and still keep it togeather! god i'm such a terrible romodel....

To day is the day

Hello everyone welcome to my cherry basket that i call my life, i have finally decided to keep an online journal for....god knows why and I'm sure no one will be reading this but isn't just my way to keep track of the craziness that is my life. first of all a little about me...I'm going to sound like a dush talking about myself but here we go,

I am an art student working towards my degree so i can be an art teacher on the side and a painter full time lol. yes i know that should be the other way around but whatev's! i am very abrasive or at lest that's what some of my family say and very strait forward. i say what i want and i could care less if someone doesn't like it i am ma and you don't have to read what i write! i am not the best writer but i will try really hard not to sound like a complete unfortunate. i have too many hobbies to list and dabble in photography and other crafty things! i currently am apart of an online start up magazine and you will be hearing a lot about!!! and as for that i think I'm done.

i have an off since of humor and i tend to find things that shouldn't be funny...well funny and i have strong opinions about things i love. and well....yeah i really think that's it so more sillyness from this basket case!